Originally written last February 25, 2022
As I sit on a rattan chair and took a rest from plunging on my meal which I could not remember if it was breakfast, lunch, or early dinner I looked at the café where I’m at. The famished beast in me started looking at my surroundings where fairy lights blinked, neatly placed on white lamps hanging on the ceiling. I also marveled at the white mechanical birds that flew above me wondering when will they ever get tired of gently flapping their wings. I looked towards the people chatting seeing the satisfaction on their faces. I followed the movements of the servers who were always warm in spirits.
It was a perfect spot to observe the world where I was sitting. It felt like I had superpowers. I could somehow feel their calmness, joy, and contentment with where they were at. I could sense every breath, excitement, and awe from their bodies. But what I liked most during my stay was the surprising message that I got while I was plunging hurriedly into my meal earlier. Just right above my plate, a piece of stationary paper was placed underneath the glass on top of the table.
The phrase read: “I never felt alone.” A short phrase from a piece of paper that my eyes noticed.
How timely is this message for me. One of the customers who visited must have left that affirmation note just like the other guests referring to their café experience. It made me feel in awe as I read the entire message. It reminded me of the times I felt lonely and alone, especially with my chosen vocation. I began to gaze upon the earth and I thought about what I have been missing during this pandemic. I took a breather. A friend of mine died two days ago and I’m not okay. I take this time for myself. To write better you see. And to remember her as well.
Earlier I was seated first outside of the café and I watched as their faucet display poured little water giving a sound that’s so therapeutic. As soon as there was an available seat I marveled at the people. I watched their expressions. Across me, I saw a woman sitting on a chair alone. She’s pretty and it made me smile thinking that she was having her “me” time alone enjoying her meal with a tall mango shake and a violet flower placed on a vase almost touching her face whenever she bent down to eat her food.
It seems to me like it’s her self-care time. Both of us, it’s our self-care time. Both of us, are not alone and never alone. I hesitated plenty of times to write this at the moment because I want to let go of my mobile phone even just this once. I wanted to enjoy life as it is. The real-life beyond screens. To see the tremble of each walk that a person makes, each uneasiness, each movement of a person that I see from the corner of where I am seated. The pride, ambition in people’s faces, the desire for freedom and success. The desire for everything to be always okay.
Well, I guess I just can’t help it. I’m a writer. That’s why I write. I need to jot this down. I need to let go of the pain. I need to discover new things. To create beautiful things, and record the things I see in this moment of pause. What a good break. What a good life it is indeed.