On thin air, I spoke

A reflection from my church service as a lector last March 26, 2021.

“But the Lord is with me, like a mighty champion: my persecutors will stumble, they will not triumph.” – taken from Jeremiah 20:10-13

There I was, a bit nervous to proclaim the word of God as I walked towards behind the ambo. It was my early morning church service as a lector. As I walked towards it with my hands were clasped in a praying position. It felt like I entered an empty stage. Pure silence enveloped the entire church. The crowd was quiet. Everyone was there to listen. Will they listen to me? I felt the Holy Spirit in me but I still tried to control the situation. After bowing in front of the altar still with my hands clasped beside the ambo my right hand reached the microphone hidden under the ambo. I stepped on the platform opened the lectionary, searched the reading with my eyes and as the microphone reached my lips I began to speak. It was like it was not my voice. It felt like I wasn’t inside the church but somewhere distant from the world. The words ran smooth like the rivers that flowed on streams then I stumbled upon the word, “Propeta” (Prophet). I read it as, “Propita”. Just like on rivers there are rocks like these. But it didn’t stop the waters from the river from flowing. I continued to read and as I looked up towards the mass goers my heart ached to see almost empty pews and the large wooden main door closed with a long wood placed horizontally on the middle as its lock. It’s like a small stone was thrown upon my chest. Why is it like this, Lord?  It was the 2nd year of the ongoing pandemic that has hit the entire world and has forced people to stay inside their homes during lockdown leaving the church with only the servants who attended the mass. As I returned to reading the next lines, I knew that the few people who were inside the church needed to hear this. They needed to hear the Lord my God speak through me. On thin air, I spoke behind the medical face mask that I wore. I could hear my breathing, my heartbeat in the silence of the church. It was a struggle to speak loudly and catch my breath. A part of me also felt frightened and brave at the same time proclaiming once again a beautiful reading about victory from persecution. The confidence I felt came from the Holy Spirit. I knew I could not do it alone. I enjoyed that confidence. I also felt scared because since I was reading it, I asked myself, will persecution happen to me? Before the day of service, I read the English version from my bible then when I proclaimed the Tagalog version it felt even more powerful.

I also loved the Psalm that I read after the first reading. It is from Psalm 18:2-3, 3-4 ,5-6, 7

I love you, Lord, my strength, Lord, my rock, my fortress, my deliverer. I find it sweet like honey as I read the lines, I love you, Lord. As I read the Tagalog version, I realized that I was talking once again to my, “mahal ko.” (lover). The Psalm is filled with the confidence of victory over persecution. Knowing that even if I may be persecuted along in my journey, victory will come and I am not alone.