Written last January 27, 2023
We need to go.
Go where? I asked.
My eyes grew big in surprise as I sit at the kitchen table’s chair watching a video on my phone.
Your brother said that we’ll be trying out this new German restaurant with the name, “askfsllgkas”.
I laughed.
My mother smiled while eyeing me.
She turned her back on me and ran up toward her room and I stood up and went to mine.
I opened my wooden closet which was painted white and there I found my pinkish dress with electric pleats which I left behind for years.
My eyes located the Mama Mary pendant hanging on a hook inside my closet door which my father gave me as a present for Christmas I believe, or was it my birthday? Who cares both occasions happen on the same month anyway. I quickly gazed at the Mama Mary necklace with its figure made of gold and rested upon the black oval pendant with gold trimmings on the side.
And who knows that it would feel like gold as to where my destination will be.
I plucked it from the hook and wore it around my neck. I closed the doors of the closet, walked towards the landing of my stairs and placed my silver ballet shoes on my feet, and grabbed my big white bag.
Off we went to a place that I never knew. To a place that seemed deserted at first.
We parked our car and as we got down we walked passed a coffee shop that brewed coffee which embraced the air as each customer would go out or come in from their store. As we walked straight we found a stage preparing for a dazzling Christmas event. My brother located the German restaurant nearby and who knows how to pronounce its name. We were welcomed by the restaurant servers and as we took our seats a part of me started to feel grateful.
I started to become grateful for life. For my experiences. For this experience with my family. I thought about the things that I have. Who I am and what I have accomplished. After a few moments, our meals were served. Who knew that after a while we would be sitting beside a billionaire and his comrades who came inside and drank beer followed by a loud laughter after each one cracks a joke I suppose. I looked at them and I looked at my surroundings. I looked at the stage with dancing lights.
As I wait, I saw ballet dancers practicing their piece at the back of the restaurant from behind the aircon’s moist glass windows. As the event nears to a start my mother and I went out, took our seats and I just observed everything that I see. I saw photographers. I saw myself in them. I saw the admin of the mall. I saw myself in them. I saw the pretty host wearing a golden outfit which I adored. I saw myself in her. I saw myself in many ways and in many people’s lives.
I saw my brilliant self. I saw my beautiful and confident self. I saw the powerful woman that is in me. A power that comes from the Lord. I just felt thankful at that moment where I knew that my life is good and I am right where I should be. That the path I made and the steps I took are right where they should be. That I am immensely blessed. That I wouldn’t exchange my life for another. I looked at the dashing clothing of the people who felt confident and beautiful amongst themselves as they await for the Christmas lighting ceremony and the camaraderie that could happen any moment now.
All I knew is that I’m content as to where I am. I found my peace. I saw myself in everything. I saw myself in that Christmas tree united with Christ. I saw myself in the surprise fireworks in every glee. Everything seems joyful, unwanting, and evergreen. The show has finally came to an end. My mother and I wandered and explored the area. I looked at the confetti sprinkled on the floor as I walked on the black-tiled path that lead to a fountain with glowing lights.
I saw the ballet dancers who took their last step by posing on the fountain before leaving their last trance. I knew that the show is over, the music has faded and the people start to move on and go their way but the lights are still turned on the tree gleaming at me. As my mother and I walked towards the Christmas tree we took photos beside it and as we left, the rain drizzled above us. We didn’t have an umbrella and its fine. I turned back, looked at the light of the Christmas tree that will leave a spark in the lives of many. All I knew is that I saw myself. I saw myself in you, my God.
