Who is my King?
By: Nichelle Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, April 17, 2022
One evening as I waited at the main entrance of the mall waiting for my brother to fetch me, two boys selling sampaguita slowly approached. One looked like he was four or five years old and the other was I guess around seven. The younger one said to me while gently touching my pants with his small greasy hands, “Ate, bili na po kayo para makauwi na kami” He looked tired and hungry. My heart ached for the little one. I had so many questions in my head like, It’s dangerous for a small one like you to be out here, Please don’t come near me we still have a pandemic, Where are the parents of these children? Why are they the ones working instead of the parents? What is the government doing?
At that moment, I hesitated to give money or buy sampaguita because of my many excuses and overthinking. One, it was hard to reach for my wallet because I was carrying a heavy backpack with my laptop inside. Second, I didn’t have coins or a much lower bill to pay for it. Third, I was worried that my brother might arrive any moment now and it would cause a big delay. I also thought that I had already given to others recently so it’s okay not to give now.
I kept telling the child, “Wala po” even if I know that I was lying to myself. Then a security guard noticed me and the children and he started to shoo them off. I looked at them from afar feeling confused and heartbroken not being able to help. I missed an opportunity to help, I said to myself. Reflecting upon this common experience as I went home made me think about our government. It made me think about the upcoming election. And it made me think about my generosity level.
The talk last Sunday asks us who is the King of your life? It made me think about how much I put control over all my actions. I take matters into my own hands. I try to control my work, my money, and even the situation of others that I forget to put God in the center of my life, He is King! In the talk, it was said that Political change is part of the solution, but it’s not the only and ultimate solution. Bro James said that at the end of the day we believe that only God can change our country. I may not be able the control the kid’s situation but I can start making a solution within me by starting to receive God’s invitation for me to surrender my control and worries to Him. Because if I give my yes to fully surrendering myself to God, then I make Him the King of my heart.
Take away your sword
By: Nichelle Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, February 20, 2022
What is my motivation? I asked myself this question while I was watching the talk last Sunday. It was a wonderful opportunity for me to do a “self-check” in terms of ministry, work, and personal life.
This reminded me of a personality test I took a few years ago with my mentor to know more about myself. One of the interesting results that came out was that I was diplomatic which in Tagalog means “mahusay makitungo” while the negative opposite of it was “play politics”. I googled what “play politics” meant and it says “to say or do things for political reasons instead of doing what is right or what is best for other people”. This made me recall experiences in the past when it comes to evangelizing people at the Feast. For some reason I noticed that I can easily influence people with anything that I say or do, not just at the Feast but as well as with my other affairs.
At the Feast, oftentimes I chat with people, invite them to serve at ministries and Light Groups and surprisingly majority of them would. Until there was this moment when the thought of my diplomatic personality came to me and I asked myself am I still doing it right or am I “playing politics”? There were times where I felt like I was using a thin layer of “playing politics” instead of being diplomatic to grab someone’s attention. I recall processing it in my head and its like 50 percent pure intention and 50 percent wrong intention. The thought of it worried me. Was I a fake leader? Almost. I’m glad that I caught myself. Good thing I asked myself, what is my motivation behind this? To bring people to Jesus or was it all work?
The one big message from last week’s talk is Protect your Kiss, meaning we have to protect the purity of the good intentions of our heart. We don’t want to be a fake. We want to be faithful. Today it’s still a struggle for me on how to balance my diplomatic gift. I pray that may I always let God purify my intentions and lead me to the right actions when it comes to evangelizing others. Just like Peter in the story of Matthew, may I Iearn to put away my sword. Put away my need to take matters into my own hands and instead put my life in God’s hands and trust Him.
Your Blessing is Coming
By: Nichelle P. Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, December 19, 2021
Repeat after me. I am a blessing magnet. I am a blessing to others. Blessings are chasing after me. Sounds familiar? We often hear this from our preachers at the Feast but I often neglected it. It seemed ordinary to me.
Not until these past few weeks I found myself declaring these words twice a day. One in the morning and one in the evening. Then I knew that words indeed have power. It changed my perception and it made me see every opportunity, every small thing as a blessing. I started to look at life more beautifully.
Then I noticed day by day more blessings came pouring into my life. I focused too much on the negativities, mishaps, and challenges not being able to see how blessed I am. It also made me reflect upon the 3 T’s. Time, Treasure, and Talent. In the Parable of the Talents from Matthew that Bro James shared during the Feast talk entitled: Stewardship vs Negligence from the Clash Series it’s one of my favorites because I have reflected it in numerous ways.
It doesn’t only talk about making money grow but making other areas of life grow. Using and growing talents, character, and so much more. Lately, I’ve been thinking about my goals which is having my own house and having a lot of money that I can have until my retirement. Why don’t I have as much money as I dreamt of having? I’ve been working for a long time now. I asked myself and God.
In the talk, it was discussed that blessings are what you hold in your hands, head, and heart. Hand means Receptivity, Head means Wisdom, and Heart means Faithfulness. God gives us the ability to produce wealth and when you pray for blessings, you need to also pray for the ability to handle it so that your blessing doesn’t become a burden. That answered my question and helped me to feel at ease with what I have now.
I find it also striking when it was mentioned in the talk that God is not preparing the blessing for you. He is preparing you for the blessing. Sometimes we ask for so many things from God and when we don’t get it, we question God and we throw a tantrum not knowing that we are twisting God’s hand. Together let us allow God to mold us for our upcoming blessing.
Say this with me: God has a perfect blessing in store for me. I will allow God to prepare me for my upcoming blessing. I will pray for God’s guidance to handle the blessing that he will give me and I will remain faithful and share the blessing that he has given me to others.
Paper thoughts
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, May 16, 2021
I recall back when I was in elementary that my classmates kept on asking paper from me whenever our teacher would ask us to bring out one for a quiz. It would be an intermediate pad, crosswise, lengthwise or 1/4. So whatever type of paper it was on any subject I was always ready. As soon as my teacher announces the phrase, “Get one blah blah paper” most of my classmates would all stand up looking for someone who they can ask for a piece of paper. I was one of those people who was always surrounded by my classmates as they asked for paper. I’m okay with giving. My parents taught me to be generous. But it came to the point that I got tired of giving. I became an unhappy giver. It felt like my classmates were already parasites who kept on asking and never did their best to buy paper. I wanted to teach them a lesson. There were times I stopped giving even if my classmates pleaded me for more paper especially when I see that my pad is getting thin. On those moments when I stopped giving, they would persistently ask for paper with sad faces almost pleading. I could imagine my face turn into a huge frown like Mr. Scrooge. But because of their persistent request I gave in. There were rare occasions when I was the one who asked for a piece of paper and it’s either I would receive one or not. At those times when I receive a paper, I feel so ashamed of myself. I find it hard to be on the receiving end. Ashamed of asking, I felt unworthy. I always felt that I should always be ready with my papers all the time.
This simple story happens to us in real life too. We turn away from God or not ask for something we need whether its material blessings or forgiveness from habitual sins because we feel that we are unworthy. We ask ourselves, who are we to ask? But if you would deeply think about it, the more you say that you will disturb God too much with your needs comes from a feeling of pride. We may not notice it at once but its also one way of the devil separating us from our heavenly father. During this pandemic, I stopped praying to God about my bold dreams. In my mind, I’ll just pray to God about my dreams again when the pandemic is over. When will that be? After ten years perhaps? I’ve limited my mindset with the thought, “Nakakahiya naman humingi kay Lord” Ever since I was young, I always thought that what I have is enough, I’m already blessed yet I can be more blessed if I ask and share that overflowing blessing to others. It’s not just about my joy but the joy that can be poured out to those in need. I always felt unworthy. I also limited God to what he can give me. I often forget that he’s the God of the impossible. I realized that I lacked persistence when it comes to praying and asking God for blessings for my big dreams. Unlike my classmates who persisted in asking me for paper, they got what they wanted because they persisted in asking. As it is said on Matthew 7:7-8 “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives; and the one who seeks, finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened. Ask and the door will open.”
So, the next time someone asks you a piece of paper? What do you do? You are the gift that person needs today. Are you in need of paper? Go to God, he misses you and eagerly wants you to ask him anything. Be a happy giver and receiver.
Frustrations, limitations, and compassion
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, August 22, 2021
What frustrates you right now during this pandemic?
For the past two weeks, I found myself anxious and overwhelmed with the many unexpected things that happened. A priest in our Feast died, a lector in our church died, and my cousin died. One shocking news after another came. Why is this happening Lord? I got so frustrated not being able to visit these people who became a part of my life because of the restrictions caused by the pandemic.
I just couldn’t find the right words to say as to why I felt so restless but I always resolved to pray in silence amidst all the noise that is feeding my heart, mind, and soul. In my prayer, I continue to hold on to Jesus, Mama Mary, and St. Joseph. Now I know where the term “Kapit lang” can be used. I continue to hold on to the Holy Family believing that whatever storms come my way I have them with me. I continue to believe that even if there is an ongoing crisis, at the end of the day, we will go to Christ so there is really nothing to worry about.
Recently, I decided to browse my Facebook newsfeed because I rarely do due to my busy schedule and other priorities. As I scrolled on my newsfeed, I can’t believe that I’m seeing several posts of friends seeking help. I see posts asking for blood donors, teleconsult doctors, prayers, and financial assistance. There goes my frustration again of not being able to be physically present to help my friends.
Somewhere deep in my soul I felt greatly disturbed. It’s like there’s a fire burning within me that I could not control, only to realize that what I was feeling was compassion. This burning level of compassion that I had in my heart feels so much stronger than before. I guess God is teaching me to care for others even more and not just focus on my comforts.
It breaks my heart that I couldn’t go out to physically be there and help them. I hate being limited. I was frustrated feeling limited. Limited in finances, only being able to share just a tiny portion of what I earn and my prayers. In my period of grief, I want to comfort everyone but I also need to comfort myself. As I reflected on my experience these past two weeks, I learned that the best weapon that I can do right now is an increase in prayer life. That alone is powerful enough.
Last Sunday, in the Special Series Feeling Blah with the talk entitled: Frustration, Bro James said that God allows certain frustrations in life for our maturing. Hearing those words as a millennial makes me think, “But, I don’t want to grow up!”. I already have too many responsibilities on hand. My plate is full. We may never know God’s plans. Sometimes it may be hard to accept everything that is happening around us today where we are called to surrender everything to God but one thing is sure which was said in John 16:33, “I have told you this so that you might have peace in me. In the world you will have trouble, but take courage, I have conquered the world.”
Loving Correction
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, July 11, 2021
Being a servant leader is a happy and hard mission at the same time. There are times when everything falls into place. But just like Jesus we live this life having hardships and challenges and one of the challenges that most of us face is confronting people. Do you find it hard to correct and confront people? Admittedly, I find it hard to confront people especially if it’s a sensitive issue that needs to be corrected. I tend to overthink. I worry that we might lose the friendship, I might get enemies instead of friends and I worry that the worst things can continue to happen. A few months ago, I have a friend who was new in the community. As he journeyed with us in the ministry his position grew higher until we are in the same position now. He is still in his early pace of leadership while I am in my eighth year this July in the community by the grace of God. I knew he still had a lot to learn and experience as a servant leader.
One day while I was working, I took a short break from work to just check on some updates from our activities in the ministry. I read a message from him that made my blood pressure rise up to the roof upon seeing a wrong decision that he made. I felt so triggered that I wanted to chat with him right away and point a finger at his wrong decision. I’m a perfectionist so I find it hard to easily accept his wrong decision. I always want everything to be in order. I knew that he wasn’t aware of the consequences of his decision. At the same time, I also had this inner battle about whether to confront him or not because I don’t like conflicts. I also had a lot of work to do so the tension in my mind was racing feeling angry with my friend and at the same time feeling the pressure at work. I knew that if I start chatting with him it would be a long conversation and I need to prioritize work. I tried to calm down myself. I pushed myself away from my desk and I took several deep breaths until I calmed down and did some self-talk. It won’t make sense if I leave him as he is. I’m not a true servant leader if I leave him as he is. If he continues to do this then it will continuously affect the entire ministry. What’s the use of my experience as a servant leader if I’m not going to guide others to become better leaders? That thought alone of not doing anything to help God’s ministry is something I could not bear. “Okay, I will finish my work first before I talk to him.”, “Rushing and saying hurtful words to him without even really thinking carefully about it won’t help our conversation and relationship.” I did a short prayer afterward and asked God to guide me on how I plan to talk to my friend in a loving way. I knew that if I scold him, it won’t do any good for both of us. It’s either he would sheer off from the ministry forever feeling sorry for himself or he would get angry at me because of my perfectionism. I continued working then after a few hours, I felt that my brain was ready to focus on confronting my friend in a loving way. I started chatting with him in a positive way asking if he’s willing to hear some tips from me when it comes to handling ministries. We exchanged messages and I was glad that it worked. He realized his mistake and humbly apologized for it repeatedly. He even asked for more tips on how he can become a better servant leader. It warmed my heart that he was open to improvements as a leader and he didn’t take my correction the hard way. As we chatted, I continued affirming him and promised to share more tips and learning experiences from past formations I’ve attended. Correcting and confronting is hard but it can be easy if we follow the three Tips on Loving Correction from Bro Oying’s talk last Sunday from Talk 12 of the Side A Side B series entitled Searching Sheep and Restored Relationships.
Tip #1 Express your love
Tip #2 Express your humility
Tip #3 Express your commitment
It was a tough decision for me back then confronting my friend but it was worth it.
The Miracles of Desperation
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, November 1, 2020
“I have never heard anything like that before.”
Those words crushed me as the priest began to speak after I confessed my sins. I felt my body tightened trying to fight back the tears. I had a million questions like, Fr., what do you mean that you don’t know what I’m saying, you’re a priest! I’m sure you know a lot of things. I continued to listen to him after he made a long pause. I was desperate for healing from my long-time sickness and it seemed like that the hoped I expected just vanished after he said those words. I remember that day where I attended mass on the church and I eagerly planned to go to confession hoping that I would get some comfort and advice. After a few moments of silence which felt like eternity he spoke, “Do you know the book called Liturgy of the Hours? It’s a thick black book with the color gold surrounding all the edges of the pages. I think it’s around 800 pesos at St. Paul’s.” I gulped at the price. “There is also an app for it called iBreviary. You can download the app and read the prayers from there.” He took out his phone and showed me what it looked like. “You will see that there are morning, daytime, afternoon, and evening prayers here. Read it as much as you can.”, “Mawawala yan.” He firmly said referring to my sickness. I held on to those words and left. I was willing to do anything just to be healed from my sickness so I decided to buy the book. I recall riding a jeepney on my way to a newly opened mall where a St. Paul’s store was located nearest to my home. The place was unfamiliar to me and I was worried to get lost along the way but as I sat on the jeepney I prayed to God. “I’m doing this for my healing. This is how desperate I am Lord even if I don’t know where I’m going, I know it will be worth it.” I arrived at St. Paul’s, bought the book and started reading it. I read the prayers every day. I did my very best to understand each part of the book. Beautiful, kind, and sweet are the words written in the Liturgy of the Hours that I found myself becoming drawn to it. On my first year of reading it a miracle happened and I was healed from my sickness. I never stopped reading it for years now and bravely shared it with other people. Desperation can be a good thing just like what was discussed on last Sunday’s Talk 7: Make Me Brave of the Miracles and More series. I can totally relate when it was preached that Desperation can be the birthplace of miracles. It was also said that God is preparing a great story of miracle in your life. I look forward to more miracles in my life. I’ve witnessed it and I pray that you experience it too. I leave you with my favorite Antiphon taken from the Liturgy of the Hours, “God’s grace in me has not been without fruit; it is always at work in me.”
God in the Background of Everything
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, September 6, 2020
Have you given everything to the Lord? Oftentimes, I would bravely say yes because I made a commitment to serve the Lord and to surrender myself and grow deeper in my relationship with Him. But as I reflect on the question, I realized that there are still a lot of areas in my life that I have not fully surrendered to God. A few months ago, I recall browsing my mobile phone doing a lot of things and trying to accomplish so many stuffs for work and personal matters. I would go to my Messages and text my family members. I would go to the Messenger app to check new messages from work and to entertain myself on the funny group chats and scroll to check if someone remembered through private message. I would also go to my bills app to settle monthly bills. I would go to my email and the other apps I used for work to check updates, meetings, and urgent requests from team mates. I would go to Google, YouTube and other search engines to search what I’m looking for. After doing so many activities on my phone, I tried swiping it from right to left because I was unconsciously trying to search for something I could not find. While swiping, I came back to the main menu and saw Jesus smiling at me. The background I have set on my phone was a picture of Jesus that I got from the web which I love so much. I stared at Him and He stared back at me with His eyes filled with eagerness and longingness to talk to me. The image showed the full features of His hair and expressive face. Slowly, I realized that I was hustling again in life. I concluded that God is in the background of everything I do and I was too busy to notice Him the entire time. He is always there waiting for me to come and acknowledge Him in everything I was doing. All the while that I was fixing everything in work, family related matters, friends and myself I wasn’t even asking for His help. I was reminded that He is in control of everything. He is in control and will take care of the people who are in my phonebook. Whenever I find it hard to reach them. He is with me at work. At the decisions I need to make. He will provide for the bills I need to pay and He will provide the answers to all of my questions when search engines can’t give me the answer. In this world, I tend to worry about so many things in life yet God will help us out because he is always in the background of everything. I smiled, stopped hustling and rested in God’s love gazing at me. It also made me realize that I do not browse and reminisce my gallery of photos and videos where memories and real relationships with loved ones are stored. Talk 18 of the Best Preaching Ever series talked about the 4 Dangers that we need to Avoid. I find it striking when Bro Velden said that sometimes we treat religion as a décor but we don’t put it into action. We should be practicing what we preach. I’ve also realized from Bro Arun’s talk that I have been creating compartments in some areas of my life where I don’t let God be God and be the master in the key compartment of my life just like how I’ve compartmentalized everything on my mobile phone. Today, I make it a habit to choose only Jesus and make Him the ruler of everything I do.
Forgiven and Free
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall e-Bulletin, April 26, 2020
Last Sunday, we celebrated the Second Sunday of Easter and I always admired the Gospel from John 20:19 – 31 when Jesus appeared to his disciples except for Thomas who was not around when he came. Thomas said, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nailmarks and put my hand into his side I will not believe.” Jesus appeared once more to his disciples and to Thomas and did exactly what Thomas want. It reminds me of an experience a few months ago when I was repeating the same sins and yet I still continue to do the things I do for God. One Sunday, I attended the Feast, served in my ministry, and attended our Light Group at J.CO SM SouthMall. All throughout that day I wasn’t at my best because I was feeling ashamed and guilty of my sins. I would keep on thinking why would God accept and forgive someone like me and yet it feels insane that I keep serving in his ministry. I just felt unworthy at that time. A few days before all this, me and my co-singles were chatting with our friend Rhea on Messenger and she was asking if we wanted kangkong, alugbati, and malunggay because she will be harvesting them and will bring some on Sunday. I was one of those persons who excitedly asked for it. During our LG at J.CO Rhea forgot the vegetables on her car and said that she will just get it after our LG. As soon as our LG ended, we all parted ways and Rhea said that she will just get the vegetables from her car and give it to me. While waiting for Rhea I was walking along the Food Hall area of SM with my head down. I was alone once again speaking to the Lord, telling him that I’m a sinner, useless, and I kept resisting the thought that he has forgiven me and loves me. I walked around in circles just in the area of Conti’s and MaryGrace with my troubled heart. Then all of a sudden, I lifted my head and saw a lighted black and white signage from a yogurt kiosk in front of me. It says, “You loved me at my darkest.” I was stunned and I felt tears welling up my eyes with peace and gladness. God loves me even in my darkest sins. Just like Thomas, I was looking for an assurance before I believed. I kept smiling and after a few moments I received a text from Rhea asking where I was. She gave me the vegetables and as we parted ways, I found myself walking along SM SouthMall filled with joy and at the same time I find it funny that a miracle can happen while I was waiting for vegetables. The Lord can really work on us in ways we could never imagine. He looks on us with love and we just have to believe that He has forgiven us. Just like the one big message of Bro. James last week: God is after your heart.
Almsgiving
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, February 16, 2020
Three years ago, I attended the Prayer and Life Workshops wherein we were taught different types of prayers, rituals, and exercises. At the end of one of our sessions we were instructed that for the upcoming week we are not allowed to say no or hesitate in giving alms to the poor. I placed that in mind and as the week started, I wondered when will the opportunity of encountering a beggar come. One day, as I was on my way home, I rode the jeepney with my friend. While we were chatting, half of mind was focused on the part where the jeepney would stop because I knew that beggars would jump inside the jeepney. As soon as we stopped and reached that point, two kids hopped inside the jeepney singing songs and asking for alms. In my head, “Here’s the perfect timing to give.” So, I pulled out my coin purse from my bag, took a few coins and gave it to one of the beggars. As they hopped off the jeepney in my head I said to myself “Mission accomplished!”.
Unexpectedly, as we were about to reach our destination, we stopped on an intersection and while waiting for the go signal from the stoplight, two kids hopped on the jeepney singing songs and asking for alms. Since my friend and I were about to go down in just a few minutes I didn’t know what to do because I was thinking about the hassle of getting my coin purse again from my bag. The kids walked inside the jeepney facing each passenger and asking for alms. A little boy faced me and asked for alms which I hesitated. My inner thoughts were, “Ha? Eh nagbigay nako kanina eh.” While he was facing me, the jeepney driver made a quick halt which made the little boy lose his balance a little bit and I felt his cold grimy skin pressed on me. I felt pity for the child thinking, “Baka di pa sya kumakain, nilalamig na sya.”
After that moment, he turned back and jumped off the jeepney with the rest of the kids. After that encounter, I reflected on it and realized that my actions were insincere and I only give when its comfortable for me. When its no longer comfortable I find it hard to give. I felt bad that I wasn’t able to give alms to the little boy. I felt like a hypocrite in a way, feeling proud of myself for accomplishing the task of giving only to the first beggar. I only focused on myself and not on the purpose as to why we were asked to give alms to the poor. That I only did the first act of kindness just because we were required to do it. I was reminded of this experience when Bro. James shared the “Totoo ka ba?” short video of Bro. Alvin Barcelona on last week’s Talk 2: Eat Locusts from the Dawn of an Era Series. It made me think, Am I real? Or do I just do things when required but its not coming from my heart? That experience humbles me and always reminds me of how I always wanted to change the world and that change should start from me by living an inspiring life each day. Just like what Bro. James said, “If you want to be a world-changer you must change your inner world first.”
God’s Acceptance
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, September 2019
A few months ago, I took a personality test with my spiritual mentor and I was shocked with some of the results. It turns out that I’m a perfectionist, negative thinker, and judger. What a nice combination right? Being a perfectionist is not that bad. It helps me a lot in work and in getting things done. People would also often come to me and ask me to proofread something. I was always happy to do it. Its like I have a keen eye for details, easily spotting any error on written work. But I remember as a child that I never accepted my mistakes. I would feel angry at myself and towards other people for correcting my errors. There was a part of me that longs for love & acceptance. Its also easy for me to judge a person based on their physical appearance and status in life. I just keep it to myself though, but that feeling where I don’t want to judge the person but it automatically and unconsciously plays in my head. I’m also a negative thinker.
Thinking about the worst-case scenario for myself and for others. I would think negatively about the past mistakes of a person and how will it contribute to his or her future. It also turns out that I envy people when crab mentality strikes. I find myself not being happy for the achievements of others and I keep on lying to myself that I’m not jealous. But the good thing about all these is that God is a God of balance. He created you and me uniquely. As I listened to Talk 3 of the Pope Culture Series entitled Embrace last Sunday, I felt like every single message was for me. That for the longest time I have been in denial with some of my feelings. Now here is the good news about my personality type. According to my mentor, she said that I also have an amazing personality type. I can adjust and adapt to three different personality types which is very unique. It was her first time to encounter someone like me. God is always working in the background. It is true when Bro James said that “Only Jesus can change you.”
Right after learning about my personality type I slowly noticed that I was starting to be aware with my actions. I’m trying to be less of a perfectionist and just let things be. I would focus my mind on the goodness that a person has rather than judging them. I choose to think positively of myself, my future and that of others. I am also glad that I was brought to the Feast. My understanding and exposure to different types of people grew especially during Light Groups. It helped me not to look at a person’s weakness but, in their goodness, and greatness. I always do my best to embrace and accept them not just literally but wholeheartedly. Knowing my personality type and being in touch with my emotions helped me become more aware and in control of my feelings and actions. I also became more productive at work, results-driven, less worried, and grateful for the success of others. I am slowly starting to accept myself, my flaws, my weaknesses because I know that God has accepted me since the very start. We all long for acceptance. Who do you think can you start loving and accepting today?
This is NOT the End Game
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, May 2019
Two weeks has passed since the resurrection of our Lord Jesus Christ. How has your journey been so far with the Lord? Today, I share with you the story of my friend Francis. Currently, Francis serves as a Light Group head and serves with the Production Ministry, but before all this Francis went through many challenges in his life. Before the Feast, he was always stressed, confused, doesn’t know how to control his anger and keeps on overthinking. Just like most people, he grew up in a family where everything seems to be okay with life until as time passed by, he was able to see the dysfunctions in his family. His father was working abroad so he did not have a father to guide him all throughout the years. Francis, was also physically challenged ever since he was young. There were times when he was in the hospital 3 to 4 times in a month. At age 19, he experienced stomach pain which was later on discovered to be a kidney failure. He also had appendicitis which caused him to undergo operation and he also experienced stroke. After the results, his mother said that his condition will be life time and he needs to undergo dialysis twice every week. Francis was fine with it.
Before all this he was working as a model but when he was physically challenged, he slowly lost confidence in himself. On the other hand, he was very close to his mother. He was a “mama’s boy”. But 3 years ago, came the greatest sorrow of his life when his mother died. His mother was diabetic and was always in the hospital every month until different tests were taken and complications arose which led his mother in a coma. His mother was in 3 days life support then eventually the family and relatives decided to remove the life support. It was a difficult time for his family and his brother also left home. What added more to his sadness was when he and his 5-year girlfriend Shane broke up with him last year. Shane was his miracle girl because she stayed with him all throughout his health struggles. It felt like nothing was left for him now. He has been undergoing dialysis for 7 years, twice a week and he cannot work because there are a lot of limitations. He looks down and pities himself by saying, “Pinandidirihan ko sarili ko.”, “Pabigat lang ako.” Most of his time, all he did was play computer games or he just stayed home and laid down in bed. After some time, his cousin Marian invited him to attend the Feast. At first, he was hesitant but eventually when he attended his outlook in life changed. After attending twice, it came to him while lying down in bed, “Hanggang dito nalang ba ako or I step forward to a new life?” Then he realized, “Hindi ako bubuhayin ng Diyos if wala akong mission.”, “Kung wala naman ako physical strength, meron naman akong spiritual strength.”
In his search for love, he found God. He joined the Singles Light Group and found new friends. He immersed himself with different activities, like the Love Life retreat which helped him let go of his sadness from his breakup. He noticed that when he kept on attending the Feast he was able to control his anger and negative vibes. He learned to love and give importance to himself. God indeed gave him strength. He had many realizations, like he was able to join and spend time with co-singles every Sunday even if he does not have work and enough finances. When he journeyed with the Singles LG he felt blessed, found hope and realized that he can do more out of life. Last year, he also joined the Singles Ministry activity where they climbed Taal. It was his first climb and he did not know where he got his strength in spite of the heat. After that first climb, he was motivated to climb more and today he has climbed 7 mountains. His progress was amazing, he now has a prayer time with God and blessings just overflowed.
Today, his father attends the Feast with him and he is also reconciliated with his brother. He and his ex-girlfriend are now good friends and they are both serving and attending the Feast. In the beginning, he said, “Before wala yung word na “blessing” sakin but when I attended the Feast, malaki or maliit na bagay blessings yun.”, “Akala ko dati walang saysay ang life ko.”, “My faith is much stronger now knowing that I have a God who I can hold on to.”, “I always thank God that I am alive each day.”, “Don’t give up, trust yourself and trust God.”, “Always tell yourself, “Kaya mo yan!”
As we ponder upon this story may we be reminded that yes, there are difficult times in life but this is NOT the end game. Just like Francis we can be resurrected together with our Lord Jesus Christ.
Who inspires you?
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, March 2019
Do you believe that all your dreams can come true? Who inspires you to get going even if it’s tough?
A few years ago, while browsing on Facebook I saw a shared post of my friend about a writing opportunity for an online women empowerment magazine. I got excited and quickly took a look at it. I researched and found out that the online magazine was founded by her friend Dr. Jojo Sayson. So, I communicated with Dr. Jojo and followed the procedure in submitting inspirational articles for the magazine. Later on, I learned more about Dr. Jojo and my perspective in life changed when I knew more about his accomplishments. I was blown away when I read his long list of achievements. All I can say is that he is a living proof that there is nothing impossible with God when it comes to achieving our dreams. Brace yourselves for this long list that I am about to share. He is a graduate of physical therapy, took a master’s degree and then later on took a Doctorate in Orthopedic Manual Therapy. He was a Lieutenant commander in the Navy, he is an international educator, motivational speaker, published author of the book entitled Springboard to Heaven where he talked about his life journey, he is the publisher of Angel Rising Magazine, he is a research scientist at NASA, he has a big heart for children and founded the Project MichelAngelo Foundation where they empower children and young adults with progeria, cancer, and other life-threatening illnesses. He is also a huge fan of superheroes and dresses up in a Superman costume when visiting children with illnesses to give them hope. He grew up and studied in the Philippines and later on decided to live in the United States together with his happy family.
Now talk about accomplishments! The road to all these was not easy. It took a lot of hard work and sacrifice. The first talk last Sunday at the Feast is Choose a Leader from the Nation Building series where the one big message of Bro James is to Hang out with VIP – Very Inspiring People. Dr. Jojo is one example of a VIP. What I appreciated most about Dr. Jojo is his strong love for God and his home country. At first, when I saw his Facebook posts about God I thought that his posts where weird because he declares so much love and belief with God. It’s like his love for God was so contagious. He has his full trust in God and is not afraid to declare the name of Jesus. His life is like an open book. You can see everything about him on the internet and his Facebook posts are set on public in a way that is not boastful but very inspiring. He uses social media as a tool to inspire people and remind us to take action not just in our lives but to be of service to people.
As I continue to follow everything that he is doing I realized that he is one of my mentors because his life-changing story inspires me so much. Even if he is already living abroad, he still continues to help our country in every way he can with the help of his team here in the Philippines when the need arises for rescue operations and relief missions during disasters and calamities. At times when I feel bad and it seems like it’s taking too long to achieve my dreams, I remind myself of his story and how he was able to do everything with the grace of God. I regain a positive mindset, smile, and believe that one day I will see myself being able to reach all of my dreams and serve more people in ways far more than I can imagine. Whenever I am reminded of his story and his journey, I am simply inspired.
The rewards of purity
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, February 24, 2019
How was your Valentine’s Day? Was it great?! Was it filled with flowers, chocolates, cakes, and all that sweet stuff? Or you don’t want to talk about it because it was actually Singles Awareness day for you? I on the other hand, celebrated the happiness of being single. Well, I had to admit I did celebrate Valentines Day by putting on fake flowers on my laptop while working just for fun. Valentine’s day is a day that people either dread or feel excited about. When you’re single you want to stop browsing on Facebook during Valentine’s Day because all you see are lots of flowers, happy faces, and people dating. As you continue to browse you suddenly saw the special Valentine’s Day video of Jollibee. You would stop, breathe out heavily and ask yourself why am I still single? I would say, why not? It’s a blessing. Valentine’s day is a day where you celebrate you. Loving yourself as a person.
The talk last Sunday at the Feast was about Disordered Purity and how many singles today struggle with it. It is a difficult topic to talk about but I want to share with you the lighter side of things and how you can make the most out of your single life. How can singles keep purity anyway? There were 4 Lessons shared by Bro. James but I will share and elaborate Lesson 1 which is: Always be in battle. The devil never relaxes so you should keep yourself busy as well. Whether you are currently in a relationship or not, keep yourself busy doing things that you love. Doing things that will make life more meaningful.
There are so many exciting things to do as a single person. Just to share with you that I admire this time of my life right now. I love to travel with my family, I spend time to chat with my friends, I attend seminars that will help me get closer to my dreams, I’m also busy with work and what brings me so much joy is when I serve God and his people. These are some of the things that you can also do to be ready in battle. What makes us really ready for the battle is when you serve God because you have something to protect you. Join ministries, be parts of Light Groups, join the Love Life Retreat and other retreats that will help you grow spiritually. Serve those who are in need and you will feel that the grace of God will protect and overflow in you. Be happy and enjoy every single moment that you walk with God. Fall in love with God first and when the time is right, he will lead you to the right man or woman. It’s better to be single than to be in a wrong relationship. Two of my friends from the Singles Ministry got married last year and early this year and it is a joy to see the rewards that purity brought them. They have amazing stories that when you hear will inspire you to be patient in meeting the right one. It will rekindle the hope in you that nothing is impossible with God when it comes to meeting Mr. or Ms. Right. Staying pure and obedient with God is surely a great blessing.
The KCON 2018 experience
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, December 2, 2018
I had been attending and serving the Feast for five years now and I am so happy to finally be able to attend KCON 2018 last week. Ahead of time, I made sure to purchase a ticket as soon as it was available. In the past years, it would either be I have a scheduled travel on the KCON dates or I didn’t have enough money to buy a ticket. Two weeks before this year’s KCON I had so much work to do that I thought I couldn’t finish it before KCON. So, I planned not to attend the Thursday classes due to my busy schedule. Good thing God sends people who I cannot say no to. My friend asked a favor from me if I could accompany her younger sibling in attending the classes on Thursday since she was also a first timer. I knew I could not say no to her request so I said yes right away. I filed two days of leave even though I was so worried of leaving work for two days. Also, because of my busy schedule and because I was a first time KCON attendee I never thought of registering my classes right away after buying the ticket. When my friend knew that I was not yet registered she told me to register as soon as possible because most of the classes are already closed. Good thing when I registered there were still classes that I liked.
Finally, the first day of KCON came and I was totally clueless on what to expect. In my mind, I expected less. I expected that everything was just ordinary. There will be the usual talks and worships and that’s it. But God really has everything setup for me. When I entered the SMX Convention Center I was surprised to see a huge number of attendees and I was welcomed by many passionate servants. I was amazed with the energy of the servants and the excitement that filled the place. I was glad that I attended the Thursday classes because God spoke to me through the speakers. I attended talks about business, women in leadership, how to survive adulting, and more. The speakers reminded me that all things are possible when we a have a solid relationship with our Lord Jesus Christ. All of the classes that I attended from Thursday to Saturday have powerful speakers. They have amazing stories that change the world and inspire their listeners. As I reflect on God’s message to me through the talks. 3 words surfaced on my mind. That is: Love yourself, Surrender, and Balance. Overall, during the last worship, a smile came out of my face and in my head, I said: “This is why people attend KCON”. I felt the humility and powerful anointing of the event. It amazed me that each talk of the speaker addressed the situations I’m in despite the few class choices I had.
I realized that God will always find his way to you when you want him to. God meets you where you are. The talks were so encouraging and it was the perfect breather in my busy work schedule. There was so much goodness in all the talks, worships and activities. It was filled with so much fun. I also realized that when we want something, just like how much I wanted to go to KCON, we push for our desires even if there are trials and God will make a way. I think I won’t run out of so many good things to say about KCON but all in all, I can say that it was a fantastic event and I’m already excited to attend next year’s KCON 2019! I hope to see you there.
Our ever-forgiving father
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, October 14, 2018
Just like any ordinary day, I rode a van going to Alabang. I was seated in front and as we were about to leave, the driver turned on the radio and tuned in to a radio station that played Filipino drama stories. Upon hearing the intro, I was like, “Oh no”. “Why won’t he just play old music instead.” “I can tolerate that.” No offense to those who like to listen to Filipino drama stories on the radio but it’s totally not my thing. So, I had no choice but to hear every detail of the story. The story was about two lovers. Then just like any other similar stories, the boyfriend had his girlfriend pregnant out of wedlock. The boy grew up spoiled in his family. His father provided him everything that he needed. Then when his girlfriend told him about the situation, he was restless and didn’t know what to do because he does not have work and he was filled with anxiety on how to tell his father. One day, his father came home angry and told his son that he found out that his girlfriend is pregnant. So many harsh words came out from his father. Like, “Wala kang kwenta, Walang kang nagawang maganda sa buhay mo, Umaasa ka nalang lagi sa bigay kong pera dahil walang kang trabaho, Hindi ka magsumikap”. Then his son blurted out all his personal hurts to his father and said that he won’t ask for any more money from his father this time. He will prove to him that he can do everything on his own and he will raise his family all by himself. So, the boy left home together with his girlfriend and looked for a place where they can stay.
One day, the boy saw his uncle. They talked about what happened and then his uncle offered him a job as his personal driver. He gladly accepted the job because he thought this time he can prove to his father that he can earn money and do everything on his own. He kept that steady job with his uncle. One time, when he was driving his uncle to work, his uncle opened up about his father. He asked, “Do you have plans of talking to your father?” Then the boy gently said “No, there is no need to, I am rejected by my father.” Then his uncle replied, “Okay, but maybe one day you might give it a chance, your father is old now.” The boy replied okay and they were both quiet until they arrived to their destination. Whenever the boy comes home, his wife would surprise him by showing that a friend gave them additional food. Whenever the boy asked where does his wife get all these foods, she would just say that it was given to her by a friend. Several times they were given food by this friend of his wife. His wife also asked him the same question about his father and still the boy doesn’t want to talk to his father. As the story continues, they prepared a birthday party for their son who is now 7 years old. As the party was going on, the boy’s father came to give a gift to his grandchild and tried to speak to his son. The boy quickly went to the entrance and said, “What are you doing here? We do not need you!” His father left and came back the following day to their house. The boy was so mad that he started scolding at his father telling him all of his heartaches again and telling him that he has already proven that he can do things without his help. The father had no words to say, he was speechless. The entire house was filled with anger then suddenly his wife started to talk. She confessed, “Your father helped you, you did not do it alone. “Your father helped you.”, “He was the one who provided work for you, he told your uncle to look for you and give you a job, then the food that we have, it is given by your father, not by a friend. The boy was shocked and didn’t know what to say. Suddenly he and his father both found themselves into tears. They both apologized to each other and in the end, they were reconciliated and healing took place. They became a happy and whole family again.
I totally didn’t expect that the ending turned out to be like that. I was deeply moved with their story. Earlier, I felt awful listening to their story but when it came to an end, it was actually a good story after all. It was filled with a lot of lessons. I felt really astonished with the father. That no matter what his son did, he still loved and cared for him. He reminds me of our forgiving and generous father in Heaven. Not all fathers are perfect. A lot of us may not have good experiences with our father but then again even if you’re relationship with your father right now is not that good we have a Father in Heaven who is always there for us. Always remember the one big message of Bro James from Talk 1: Created from the I Believe Series that “You’re Big in God’s heart”.
Sunsets of New Hope
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, September 2, 2018
Have you ever doubted the existence of God in your life? When faced with numerous rock bottom situations have you ever asked God the question: Why is this happening to me?
Justine and his siblings were raised in a Catholic family with their parents serving with Couples for Christ. Then as the years passed, going to mass became a seldom thing for them. As a teenager he was curious and had many questions in life especially when it comes to religion. In his social studies class in high school, he explored different religions such as Islam, Buddhism, Protestant groups and Born Again because he felt that there is something missing in his life. Eventually this led him to create a research paper with his partner about Satanism where he joined rituals and connected with like-minded people. He had many questions and doubts about the Catholic Church and would often question God why does he allow pain and hardships.
Later on, he chose to have this universal belief that there is only good and evil. He carried on these belief for years. One day, he was able to get a chance to communicate with his childhood crush and they decided to meet in Baclaran church. While waiting for his crush to arrive, Justine went inside the church and this is where he was first called by the Lord. A strong wind blew upon him while he was seated and suddenly he found himself crying because he felt that God was calling him. His crush saw him and asked why he was crying. He explained why and his crush explained that she knew that God would speak to him. His crush became his girlfriend and she helped Justine go back and attend the mass. He was also introduced to WFFA where he was welcomed by the Lord and healed him from all his pain and anger. His journey was not smooth. He experienced many difficulties like when he resigned from work, after 1 month, his grandfather died, his brother got sick, and his parents separated. His former question of why does God allow this to happen to him repeated on his mind. He found it hard to pray but God never gets tired of sending people to help him. His uncle Bro. Neo, encouraged him to attend Feast SouthMall and soon he started serving with the production ministry. He felt God’s presence again the 2nd time when he attended. Every time he attended, it felt like the message of the talk is always for him. Soon he found work and was able to save and was planning to settle down with his 5-year girlfriend, but during their 5th year his girlfriend decided to break up with him. He knew his girlfriend was the one who sent him to God but why does God want him to lose her? His thoughts were: “What if I start losing my way again?”, “Who would lead me back to you Lord?”. Because of his constant battles in life he felt like he lost direction. Then while walking on the streets he saw a camera in a pawnshop, thought about it for a moment and forced himself to buy it.
He continued journeying with the Lord at the Feast and decided to joined the media ministry where he found God’s calling for him as a photographer. And every time he serves he would ask God to use him and guide him in serving his people. He also joined the Love Life Retreat where all of his life questions were answered and he continuously attends the Singles Light Group. As he recalls these blessings and experiences that came to him, he realized, “Ang galing ni Lord.”, “There is nothing else that I can ask for from the Lord.”, “The Lord keeps chasing after me.”, “I am so hungry for service and I am so hungry to know him more.” If you feel lost right now just like how Justine was, I leave you with this verse: “For the Son of Man came to seek and to save the lost.” – Luke 19:10
Gratefulness
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, July 22, 2018
Are you envious? Let’s find out. You find yourself browsing on your Facebook newsfeed and you saw a picture of your friend near the Eiffel Tower. You suddenly asked yourself, “Wow! She has a picture with the Eiffel Tower!”, “Why is she in Paris, France?!” , “We’re just the same age! How was she able to achieve that right away?!”, “When we were students I study well unlike this person who doesn’t even read her textbooks!” Is this a familiar line to you? Or maybe you find yourself browsing on your Facebook newsfeed and you see your friends getting married, you see pictures of their cute new born babies, the hottest gadgets, and every week they seem to be travelling around the world. The talk last time at the Feast is about #Envy. Becoming a social media content writer allowed me to understand the effects of social media to people.
Social media is not bad but it amplifies envy when we allow it to. I have experienced envy in all these examples that I mentioned and every time I caught myself feeling envious towards the achievement of others I would stop and start thinking of my own blessings. A few years back, I recalled watching a video where the speaker shared a story about his friend who used Facebook in a different way. On the video he showed that upon opening Facebook, his friend always stayed “Home”. The only places he went to is his profile, home, friend requests, messages and notifications. He doesn’t browse on the newsfeed because he knew that if he will browse his feed it may either cause him joy or envy on what he will see. It was an amazing video and just this year I tried it out myself. I challenged myself to just open my Facebook account because it’s part of my work and not to browse at the newsfeed.
For 3 months I was able to successfully do it and I found myself happier and contented. At first, it always felt so automatic for my fingers to go to Facebook and look at the newsfeed but I managed to stop myself by thinking, “Stop browsing if you can’t be happy for others”. Presently, I came back to browsing my newsfeed and started to become appreciative and grateful for the blessings of others and the blessings that came into my life. Whenever I browsed my newsfeed I would stop and thank God for pouring out his blessings upon his people and instantly I find myself smiling and feeling grateful for the other person. Just like what Bro James said from Talk 2: #Envy from the How to Really Connect series, “When you pray for others you are opening yourself up to the blessings.” What are you grateful for today?
I love my job!
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, June 10, 2018
Have you ever felt undecided whether you should accept a new job or not? I was once in that situation. A friend offered me before if I would want to accept a homebased job from another foreign company. I was okay with it because I knew that I had some background with the type of work that they offer. I was just filled with worry that things might get complicated because the company is focused on social media and technology which I’m not an expert on. Before accepting the job, I prayed hard and discerned about it. I asked God if this is where he wants me to be. I asked for his guidance, his wisdom and for everything to run smoothly. I accepted the job and fast forward today I have been working with the company for about more than a year now.
At first the work seems to be complicated but eventually I understood everything. Amazing things happened and I realized what the role of prayer is in work. I didn’t just pray in the beginning when I was worried. I prayed and acknowledged God every single day. Everything that I did for my work I prayed to God and asked for his assistance telling him that I can’t do it alone. I found myself turning my worry into worship. As I journey, it suddenly came to me that every output that I provided to the company did not come from me, but it came from God. It’s like everything was on autopilot with God in control. I felt God was working in me. Challenges were definitely there but having that feeling of God working beside you is one of my greatest realizations. I have had previous jobs where I didn’t put God in the center of it. I didn’t rely on God and asked for his guidance but instead, I relied on my own efforts thinking that I can do it alone. Now I know how important it is to go to the main source of wisdom which is God. Not only did my work turn out to be smooth but I am lucky to be part of a startup company that is generous, has a heart for its people and is continuously growing.
The CEO and everyone else whom I work with are awesome. Truly, work is never a work but a blessing just like what Bro. James said in Talk1: Success of the Workaholyc series. What I also liked about the company is that they are very appreciative with every work that you do for them. They always give a sincere praise filled with so much encouraging words. Part of what I also do in my work is that I need to watch shows from broadcasters and its really amazing that God uses these people to inspire me. There are times that the topics that they discuss are on point and definitely speaks to me perfectly for the day. It’s also the confirmation that God tells me, “This is the work where I want you to be”. In what work do you think does God want you to be?
Woken up by God
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, April 2018
Who among you get scared when you suddenly wake up at around 3:00 am? Admittedly, I used to feel a little scared just because my friends and the people around me get scared by it. It also occurred to me that whenever I got up in the middle of the night, I would not check the time just so that I won’t get the heebie-jeebies. Eventually, I forgot all about those odd beliefs, and now it felt ordinary for me to wake up at 3:00 am or passed 3:00 am and check the time on my cellphone. It doesn’t bother me at all. Instead, I feel like the world is my own because I get to write quietly at night. I even get excited whenever I woke up in the middle of the night because I feel so pumped up to do more tasks and other write-ups.
One time, when I was scrolling on the Facebook newsfeed, I saw a post of my good friend Mr. Jojo where he took a picture of his digital clock that read 3:16 am. It was accompanied by a long post. He said that he woke up in the wee hours of the night and when he turned to look at his side table clock, it read 3:16 am. He said that these numbers are his favorite combination because he seems to wake up at this time on the dot for many times which loudly reminds him of John 3:16, “For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.” Afterward, he could not sleep, and he felt that he needs to deliver a humble message to the world. That is, “To humble ourselves to God through Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.” He also said that we must place God first in our daily lives and take charge of our destiny.
Upon reading his post, I laughed at myself as I recalled how I used to feel scared whenever I woke up at 3:00 am back then. I was reminded of God’s role in my life. Mr. Jojo showed me and everyone who can see his post on Facebook that there is nothing to fear in this world we live in. His faith in God is so strong and he believes that nothing is greater than the power of God alone. He was simply fearless and it shows that he fills his mind only with positive things. He didn’t believe in the negativities and his main focus is only on His creator. It became a reminder for me that with the Lord, there is nothing I must fear. The true battle is actually on our minds; it is up to us on how we react and respond to every situation. Jesus has already won the battle long before. That is, by dying on the cross to save us from our sins. And now, may we celebrate this Easter season with thanks and praise for the Lord has truly risen as he said. He reigns forever and ever.
God cannot be shaken
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, November 5, 2017
Recently, my family and I went abroad for a vacation. One of the places we visited is Legoland, Malaysia. We tried out the rides, had our photos taken and indulged ourselves with all the amusements available. When the day was about to end and we were all tired from walking under the sun we went inside this huge airconditioned room where there are a lot of kids obviously playing Lego. And just like the children we took our seats and faced a big round colorful table with buckets filled of Lego blocks on the side. My brother and I started playing and building the Lego blocks on its platform. My brother made a robot and a dragon. While I on the other hand wasn’t really in the mood to think about what to build with the Lego blocks available. I just simply piled up all the blocks, mixing all the colors until nothing is left on my bucket.
After a while, I stared at my masterpiece and as I looked closely I realized that I made a cross where there are blocks placed on each side of it. I decided to remove those blocks because it looked like Christ was carrying those heavy blocks. Beside our table is another table were people placed their masterpieces on top of a moving platform to test its durability. So, I transferred my masterpiece to the platform on that table then I pushed a button located on the side of the table. The platform started to shake in a circular motion. I clicked on the button twice and to my amazement it did not fall, the cross just swayed along with the motion. I was delighted to see that and suddenly I had my own reflections and realizations.
First is, when there were blocks on each side of the cross I realized that God carries our problems, our burdens, no matter how heavy or many they may be. He is under control and he will always carry these problems on his shoulders for you. My second realization is that God cannot be shaken. The cross that I made did not fall. It only swayed. My God cannot be shaken. It made me smile while watching it go round and round. God made me smile during that moment. I felt that even if I am abroad He is with me and He reminds me of His role in my life. That wherever I may go he would surely follow and always be there for me. Many of us face different battles each day, it maybe our work, our family and situations where in which we feel like we are losing hope but just like what Bro. James said last Sunday, we must always remember that God is with us the whole time. God has already won the battle. Before leaving the Lego room, I end up making a church and clicked on the button once again and had fun.
The waves of life
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, December 17, 2017
Have you watched the movie Soul Surfer? It is based from a true story of faith of the teenage surfer Bethany Hamilton. She experienced a horrific shark attack that bit almost her entire left arm. She grew up from a family of surfers and has been joining surfing competitions at a young age. One day, she went surfing with friends and dangles her left arm in the water. Unexpectedly, a tiger shark is swimming just under her surfboard and notices her arm floating in the water. It attacks, ripping off her arm below the shoulder. She was brought to the hospital and lost 60% of her blood. The doctor said that her survival was a miracle. Her injury prevented her from participating in photo shoots and she had a hard time getting back on surfing and living a normal life with her family. She was also offered with a prosthetic arm but rejects it upon learning that it will not help her surf. Bethany kept practicing and re-enters competitions although she did not perform well because she could not catch a competitive wave.
Disappointment arises and she decided to give up competitive surfing. Bethany decided to join the mission trip of her church where the youth group were assigned to help the people of Phuket, Thailand who were devastated by a tsunami. Through this she helped Thai children get over their fear of the ocean. This includes a little boy whom she convinced to join her into the water by using a surfboard. With this experience she realized that she can use her gift to inspire people and this motivated her to surf again. She enters the national championship and during the competition she was able to catch a big wave forming with only minutes left on the clock. She did not win because she catched it just as the horn sounds.Malina her opponent is the winner but she invited Bethany up on the platform to share first place. During an interview Bethany was asked what she would do if given the chance to undo the loss of her arm and she said that she would still lose it because she can embrace more people now than she ever could with both. It’s a beautiful story.
Sometimes in life we are brought into circumstances where we do not want to be. We don’t understand why things don’t fall in the right place we think it should be. Especially when we have this dream or this skill that we know God has placed in our hearts. We wonder why is there no progress? God has his plans which is always so better than ours and He has His reasons why He lets us experience challenges in our lives. Just like what Bro. James said from Talk 3: Prosper, God will give you only the seeds because he wants you to grow in character. He wants the capacity that we have to be formed well with character. This is his purpose. He has placed those talents and skills in our hearts to bless more people. Just like Bethany may we ride on the waves of life and be reminded that nothing can stop us in reaching our dreams and believing in God’s plan for us.
My Legacy
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, September 17, 2017
Do you want to become a saint? I remember wanting to be one when I was young. I seriously told my mother, “I want to become a saint!” And when I think about it today, I would shrug off my shoulders and tell myself, “What was I thinking?” I always understood saints as people who give unconditional love to others. People who help the poor and would give up everything they have and surrender their entire life to Jesus. I also thought that they have good beginnings and are filled with pure hearts. I thought these people are perfect and did not sin. So, I asked myself, “Can I really become a saint and how do I become one? Several years passed and I forgot the idea of becoming a saint because I thought it was a huge responsibility and I have a long way to go. Only to find out that some of my beliefs about saints are wrong.
In Talk 2: Legacy, it was explained by Bro. James that Saints are people who committed mistakes but didn’t give up. They are ordinary people who love extraordinarily. Now, my thoughts became clear. All along I thought that to become a saint is to be perfect, only to realize that they were sinners too. They were not perfect and they were not instantly born saints. They too have to experience a long process. One does not need to be canonized and be known in the entire world that you are a saint because all of us can be saints. If you think you can show love to even just one person then you are a saint. No one needs to die because of torture to become a saint. And not all saints died because of that. As I write this, I reflect on all the things that I had done and been doing in my life. It makes me smile because I think I’m serving my purpose in life.
A friend invited me to join the Prayer and Life Workshop. I’m on my fifth session now and I just love it because I get to understand the origins of the church, learn the different methods of prayer, and it answers a lot of my questions about the lives of Mary and Jesus. I was glad to be given this opportunity with my mother and as we journey I know I will learn so much and embrace my Catholic roots more and more. It helped me understand my religion in a deeper level. You and I can be a saint in our small ways. We are all saints in the making. I love people and I want to leave a legacy of touching and inspiring their lives, spreading goodness, and helping others.
Find Your Voice
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, July 23, 2017
Communicating was a difficult task for me when I was young because I didn’t know how to express myself through speaking. I grew up with only a few friends because I didn’t know how to start a conversation. At school, I seldom play with other kids because I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know how to buy food from the canteen. Most of the time I would just smile at people and remain quiet which made them think that I’m shy. When someone would talk to me that’s the only time I would speak. What made communication difficult for me was that I would often juggle different words and sentences in my head. I would often wonder what to say, how I should say it, if its proper to say it or not and if I will leave them with a good impression of me. I would also wonder if it would make sense for them to hear what I’ve got to say and if it interests them. I usually choose my words and deliver them cautiously. It’s funny to recall that I was awarded Best in Conduct for 3 times in my elementary days just because I’m always quiet.
Eventually, I knew that I have potential to grow because I got a lot of feedback from my classmates and teachers who told me that I’m good in speaking and writing in English. Soon, I found myself joining different extra-curricular activities in school and when I was in college I became the Public Relations Officer for two student organizations. After college, I applied to different companies such as call centers, real estate companies, commercial centers, and a whole lot more. Majority of these companies would often praise me by saying that I have a good voice and that I was confident in speaking. But the only thing that I had in my mind back then was to have a job, not knowing that God was simply leading me where I can enhance my speaking skills. Those were the stepping stones in my life that helped improve my communication skills. Last year, I started my first cycle as a LG Head at the Feast and its one of my best experiences. He prepared me for this mission by letting me experience my breaking moments first.
Just like what Bro. James had said in Talk 2: Flow, that breaking moments can help you get better. I’m always excited to listen to the blessings of my LG members and relate to their life experiences. I’m just amazed as well that more and more people trust me. My passion and interest in knowing and listening to a person’s story or sharing grew bigger. I always felt excited and fired up to lead people. I love it when God uses me to speak his words to his people. My secret to all these: I say a short prayer and I keep on saying to myself, “Magaling ako”. Truly what you say and how you think it’s what you become. It feels good to be confident and to speak freely. It feels good to express what you want easily and more on it feels good to be able to interact with people and enjoy listening to their stories. Today, I’m still not perfect. Sometimes I still struggle on what to say. But slowly, I am able to find my voice.
Behind the mask
By: Nichelle Protacio Dizon
Originally published at The Feast SM Southmall Bulletin, May 2017
I love makeup. Makeup is a very good discovery in enhancing the beauty that ladies already have. Today, there are numerous brands of make-up all around the globe. They come in different sizes, shapes, colors, and provide skin benefits. I love mixing all the colors and being able to create new color combinations. It feels good to wear make-up. It’s like I can flash my brightest smile and face anyone with long-lasting 24–36 hours confidence of not looking like a zombie. But the happiness that I experience in wearing makeup has a deeper reason why I wear it. I use it as a secret tool in fighting back my tears. It sounds silly, but I just tell myself that if you cry, you’ll ruin your makeup; you don’t want that do you? We get to experience a lot of challenges in our everyday lives.
Some people hurt us, our work hurt us, our business is falling apart, and sometimes we are doing our best to be okay. It occurs at times that we just can’t hold on any longer and we need to break out and cry. In the morning, while I put makeup unto my face and I already know that I’ll be facing a rough day, I say to myself, “Breath in, breath out, yes I know it’s going to be another tough day, put your makeup, don’t spoil it or else you’ll have a hard time retouching it.”, “Carry yourself well. Be strong. You can do this!” It went like that; I put makeup, fight back the tears, swallow hard and look at the finished makeup masterpiece on my face. Recently, I encountered a big challenge at the workplace. My entire being was so stressed. I managed to sneak out from our office and found myself running as fast as I can in the busy streets and away from my problems. I wanted to stay at a faraway place. My heart felt heavy and I was screaming and crying forgetting all about my makeup. After a while I came back to my senses and decided to go to the nearest comfort room and check out how I look. As I face the mirror I saw a broken and deeply hurt person. I immediately washed my face with water and slowly removed my remaining makeup.
While washing, it felt like I was also washing away all the impurities, rejections, and fears that I have inside. I gently wiped my face with a paper towel and stared at myself in the mirror. I felt a sense of relief and better understanding of myself. “This is better.” I said. My plain & simple self, together with a smile. My soul was cleansed. I realized that I shouldn’t be hiding behind the mask of makeup from who I truly am. I shouldn’t run away from my problems because problems are always there to make us stronger individuals. Makeup won’t save me. Jesus can. We just have to let God work on our lives. Makeup is temporary. It fades. It goes. Our God never goes. I don’t discourage the use of makeup here; just don’t use it as an excuse or a lame reason not to be true to your own feelings. It’s okay to cry. Let God retouch what was lost.
If I were in your shoes
By: Nichelle P. Dizon
Originally published at the Saturday Feast Alabang Bulletin, October 25, 2014
Here’s a funny story, when I was 7 years old I did things on my own. I was trained by my parents to do household chores like washing and wiping the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning the fridge, mopping the floor, just to name a few. In short, I grew up independently without seeking the help of others because I knew that I can do it on my own. This has been my thinking and personality for the longest time.
One day, I was getting ready for school. I took a bath, dressed on my P.E. (Physical Education) uniform, put on my rubber shoes and groomed myself. My older sibling was also getting ready for school and my mother would normally tag along and bring us to school. Our school service during that time was a tricycle. My mother and brother would sit beside each other and I get to sit on my brother’s lap since I was still small.
As we were near the schools premises, I suddenly looked down on my feet and found out that my left foot was wearing a Tweety Bird cartoon character slipper while the right foot is wearing my pink rubber shoes. I tapped my mother’s shoulder and said “Mama” while pointing on my feet. She looked at my feet and made a quick laugh. After that, she said, “I’ll just get the other pair later; you’ll be late for school.”
Classes were about to start when I came inside the classroom and I feel weird wearing a slipper and a shoe at the same time. When I sat on the first row, one of my classmates called me and asked, “Why are you wearing a slipper on your left foot?” I just looked back at her and felt a sense of humiliation arise in me. I decided not to answer her question and faced back to the blackboard. After a few seconds, my mother came inside the classroom holding my left pair of rubber shoes and helped me put it on.
From that experience of mine, I was unable to accept that mistake. I thought I can do everything without the help of others. I was wrong. We all need each other. I was actually lucky enough to be saved by my mother from more of my classmates who could possibly laugh at me. In this world that we live in, we will get to experience a lot of mistakes every day. What would you do if you were in my shoes? Would you just simply laugh at your small mistake or would you surround yourself with feelings of humiliation and anger? Learn to accept your mistakes. That is how we grow maturely into a better person.
Until this very day, whenever I would ride on a tricycle I would stare at my feet, checking if I got it right, then I would smile afterwards at my own mistakes.