Growing up I always did things for myself. Whether it was tying my shoelaces or washing the dishes it felt good to be responsible and independent at a young age. I was taught to be independent to the point where I thought being independent means not accepting help from others.
I would always say no when a person offers me help. Most especially, if that person is a man. I feel like they are stepping on my ego and it makes me feel like a weakling. So, I would reject with my brows crossed and sharp eyes to scare people away.
A few years back, I got a fortune cookie from a restaurant. Eager to see what was the message, I opened the packaging, bit the hard cookie and felt the paper brush on my mouth. I took the folded paper, opened and read: Accept kindness from others. Such short words but full of meaning. Kindness is easy to define. But it seemed like it was telling me something else. As I continued in life, I finally learned what it meant. Kindness means service. I challenged myself to accept kindness whenever the opportunity presented itself. It was a long process of letting go of my guard. Of letting other people help me. To let go of the fear of judgement. Lo and behold, opportunities presented themselves. I recall these moments now where it happened twice that a waiter from two different restaurants sincerely offered a paper bag for the extra stuff I was holding without a handle. My friend who offered to carry my heavy laptop inside a luggage up the stairs without complaining even if he has a health condition. Another was a stranger who was a gentleman enough to let me ride the escalator first. Or those unknown men who helped me lift the heavy boxes of merchandise for my business. It made me realize—there are good men in this planet. For the longest time I robbed others the opportunity to exhibit kindness and real manhood. Accepting kindness lets loose of pride. I realized, you don’t always need to do the hard lifting sweetheart. You can be a princess too. What was once a grudge in my heart now makes me smile. When men and other people help me, my face lights up now knowing that someone showed me kindness that day.